Breaking out of busyness
Feeling busy feels good: we feel like we are getting things done, which gives us purpose. It can become addictive, that high we get from having accomplished something on our list. Our environment often rewards us for it, too. One of my clients said this: "my focus on action and outcome gets in the way of longer-term achievements sometimes" he said. "For a long time it was what propelled my career. I became known for being the guy who gets things done. But over time that focus has started to damage relationships, which puts the whole project at risk, and with it my reputation."
Another client had this perspective on busyness: "We have just had our first baby, and I know my wife doesn't want me to spend evening hours working. I don't want to, either. But there is so much work to do, I can't simply jump off the hamster wheel. Help me!"
We often do what comes easy or what makes us feel good, especially when we're not thinking about it consciously. We may believe that we do what's important first, and sometimes we do. How many times, though, do you scan your to-do list or your inbox and quickly tick off the easiest things, just because you can? Because it makes you feel like you're accomplishing something, or like you're managing to respond quickly to requests? Then at the end of the week you take stock of what you've moved forward this week, and find you haven't made as much progress on your one or two strategic priorities as you'd hoped. You've done lots of good things, but you're left feeling disappointed, like you're never getting any higher up the mountain.
What would you need to climb up that mountain or jump off the hamster wheel? These few considerations could help you on your way.
What's in it for you?
People have different drivers for keeping them busy: you might want to feel productive, successful, responsive, helpful, liked, knowledgeable, or something else still. This is the thing that keeps you at base camp or in the wheel. Once you've identified what you get out of keeping busy, you can find ways to get that upside in a way that aligns with your priorities. For example, if you want people to like you, you're worried that they will stop liking you if you don't prioritize their requests. But in doing so you give them control of your prioritization. Once you realize that, you can reclaim control of your priorities, and find ways to keep people on your side while you stay on track.
What's on the other side?
Imagine you've conquered the mountain or got off the wheel. What are you hoping to find there? Where do you hope to be? What will you be doing there? In what ways will it be better? How will you know it is better? Envisioning your new way of being can give you the drive to get started. It has to be powerful enough that you feel that this future vision is worth the climb or the jump. If it isn't, you may be better served by shifting your focus to how you can make your peace with where you are. But if it is, take the next step.
In the moment
With the image of how things can be better you've gone back to work. Before you know it you find yourself there again, at the foot of the mountain or in the hamster wheel. Good, you caught yourself! The fact that you've realized it breaks the pattern. You've interrupted your auto-pilot. Great work. Take a minute and collect your thoughts: in this particular moment, what is the most impactful thing you can do?
One step
In making a conscious choice about where you focus your energy and time you've taken the most important step up the mountain or off the wheel: that is to say, the first one. You've taken a new direction, by choice. Your next most important step will be the next step you take. You have to keep making a choice about what you focus on, every time there are more demands on you than you have energy or time for. This is exactly what you do now though, only it doesn't feel like you are the one choosing when you run on auto-pilot. When you redirect your attention it will likely feel different and new for a while, until making a deliberate choice becomes the way you approach prioritization.
Self-compassion
Be gentle on yourself, as if you were your own best friend. Did you relapse? OK, it happens. What matters is that you noticed, and that it bothers you enough that you want to respond differently next time. Rome wasn't built in a day.
Hopefully these points can help you climb your mountain or get off your hamster wheel. I'll be happy to walk alongside you if that helps. I'd love to hear from you!
